My Fellow Americins and Happy New Years

You know what just realy pisses me off? The other day me n midred was on our way down to dadollar store over n gunbarrell city. Wonst we pulled up I saw one of dim der gran open n signs."Mildred i says we otts to get that christmas shoppin dun whilst wez is hare, why I bets wez can find ourselves some bargins."Once we got inside I was jist flabbgasted, why them dare alibabianshad done gone and move all the isles around. Hell why they didn'tjust hide everythang in tha backroom i don't know. Why me anMildred been a shoppin hare for near thirty years, and now they goes and moves everythang, but thats not all. heck i bet there musa been 40 people sleep in the back of thastore. insenceee smelln smoke fillin tha air, and double humpersdung and harem girlie scarfs where everyware. "Mildred I says" we best be gettn back to the edsel before theymove it too. What has america come to to have insencee burnin,double humper dung tossin, sissie girlie scarf wearin decoratadollar stores. Next thang ya know they be puttin the gas pumps behind the station. Come on mildred I says, we ll be doing our shopping at the 7-11 Now thats americin.
Wake up america
This is Earl Pitts
PittsOff
PittsOn I like the little bottles
PittsOff


PooF!

:)

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas To All!

GridJunkie EXPOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes ladies and gentlemen

it is true. Once again through

cunning guise and investigative

work, I bring you never

before seen photos of the

world of the GridJunkster..

aka MD 20/20 kingy aka

Toad lordy. This first time

offering of the inside view

of gridjunkie Rebel Racer Ugo

(spelled Yugo for those of you

who giva @#$%^&)
Yes ladies and germicides step

right up and view these unique

and first time identified pics( found

at the junk yard) of the racing

world of ole pan handler himself,

but don't wait these fine offerings

may soon be remove by the health

department for reason of public

risk or offense I forget which.

Until next time...the usual

PooF!

:)

********MERRY CHRISTMAS!********

Tis the season!!!!!

Well once again we have found our way to the season to be merry. Lots of beer, wine and a countless other names of liquor that run through us without yielding. Tis time to rejoice and remember all the wonderful people we know and love ( well not all of them ) and to wish them a merry Christmas.So here is my list.
To the toad lord, aka MD 20/20 king, gridjunkie, here's to all the races you will never win. You need to consider not running an OPEL in a car race. Second... stay out from under the bridges(the wine there may be tainted, and the good word i put in to A/B didn't work.
To SideWall Sally, aka el gringette, aka asdo, aka cheek pincher, aka donut thief. Lay off the sidewalls. It doesn't help the dental plan, nor the drivers tires. Stay off street corners.
I would leave a message for Earl, however I think I will wait for his appearance, I understand it will be soon.So to all others, have a great holiday season....

Outa here.
PooF!
PS If you see GJ/md 20/20/TL tell him I want my Lola back.
:)

ALERT_ALERT_ALERT

This just in.
An APB has been issued,
For the capture, or killing
of the notorious car thief
GridJunkie,aka The Toad King,
MD 20/20 Lord, and various
other aliases.
Last seen pilfering a lola
06 owned by none other then
ME.
No reward for capture, how
ever 200 pesos if shot dead,
just don't hit the car.


That is all.

PooF!

:) :) :)

That time of the year

Once again it has arrived, the race season is winding down to the last glory days of the year. Gone but not forgotten is all the anticipation of the cars, food, sweat, rubber (not rubbers), beer, lack of sleep, excessive alcohol consumption, and driving just to damn fast. Man ya gotta love it.
Well I guess it's back to Grid World, and the attack on the slippery underhanded amphibious like of the toad king slimming around the track (lest he know I have a secret weapon this year).
Rein forth I say, lest you be skeared ye amphibious wonderment. Be gone from the realms of the real drivers and cars, for we seek ye out and run you over (ain't nothing like road kill Road Rage Randy Says).

Later


PooF!

A Visit From Earl

My Fella Americins

Tha other day me and Mildred were on our way back from tha outlit mall, where we wint to pick up Mildred one of them new fangled clothes washn machines. Mildred said she was a retiren from the old wash board as it was worn out. I think it has another 50 or so years left on it, guessin i'll try out that fancy new sell it all center dbay i hear so much about, outa be worth 5 dollars anyway. As i was sayin, we was on the way home when at a traffic light i notice a scrouging lookn forineeni sittin in his opel with a bottle of md 20/20. Forineeni i shouts to him, you and that sissified girlie car need to go back where ya came from. Now you would think that this here fella would head my stitactical stigestation and round up that jalopy and vambousy, no, not him, this here fella tried to tell me he and his jalopy were bound for ole glory at the race track. Well i tell you i informed him the only thing he would be a racing with that girlie car was the south bound smell from a north bound skunk and at that he would lose. i let him know that i had been around this here country all my life, and no girlie sissified weenie car like that would win anything. ( you know he had the nerve to say he could beat road rage randy,ha what a nut)

Out of the kindness of my heart and the fact that Mildred was with me i threw him some change and told him to drink coffee, that the md 20/20 had rotted his brain.

Wake america

we can take our country back from these sissified girlie weenies

yours truly Earl Pitts....Pitts off

ps

Mildred took a photo of him and that sissified car

Pitts Off

GAME ON

GRID’s largest realistic measure deals with bending your body and chassis's of the car. Unlike many racing games, this one doesn’t shy back from causing you to lose races from just a single crash. The damage is authentic, and impacted by your speed and what you hit. Crash hard enough and your car might not be able to finish the race—let alone win it.

It’s not uncommon for your car to go flying after a crash, catapulted through the air like some twisted metal Heep. The feeling when you’re both fearing crashes for the damage they can do to you, but also desperately desiring to see how your car and its frame hold up this time.

With crashing being a occurring often, it’s a good thing this game has the new “flashback” feature.You only have a limited number of flashbacks per race, but they serve to mitigate well the frustration normally found in racing games. Interestingly, using flashback doesn’t feel at all like a cheat. It more like a tool devised to help players continue doing just what they’re supposed to be doing.

There are also several white knuckle Touge events, some awesome awesome awesome demolition derbies (which are awesome), and the Le Mans 24 endurance race. Whatever events you decide to compete in, placing well will earn you reputation points. Each enough and you’ll unlock the next tier of events.

Grid obviously wants to
offer the player lot of variety and it certainly succeeds. Grid is all about the fun and the excitement of the race. It’s racing with a capital ‘R’ minus the frustration. You won’t find a more fun racing game currently.Outside of the realistic crashing damage and flashbacks, fantastic graphics, and literally hours of fun,
GRID is pretty much what you’d expect from a racer.

Breaking News

It has come to the attention of this reporter that websnooper has confirm the presence of gridjunkie (aka toad loard, aka md20/20 king)on the net. It can only be suspicioned that he might try in some tribial way to slander the other writers on these blogs, that being said, it has come to our attention that he has fond memories of the eleven hundred springs crowd and pounces around like a bear with a feather on his head. While this is common behavior for under the bridge panhandlers, it is hardly the focus of the group of race gamers.
Thus we can only wonder what he has done with side kick as the reports to side wall offenses has diminished as of late, yet the holes in the local dumpsters has increased. will he ever understand the classic code of the racing crowd? (not in that jalopy of his)


the usual


PooF

:)

This Just In

Well folks the phones just don't stop ringing. As usual the reports on grindjunkie (aka toad load,lord of the underwear,and md 20/20 king amongst others), just keep pouring in. My last caller proclaimed to have actual video footage as to the sighting of this lord/king/toad whatever. He has promised to arrive before the finish of this writing that i might be able to include such atrocities in my report. Let it be known if his side kickette was any where around, we will most likely be unable to see the proof, as she has been known to break/eat cameras also(depends on how gridjunkie has been feeding her). As i am about to finish this piece of literature up i see my evidence arriving. i will link it to the title of this article so just click on it to see for yourself.

As usual

PooF

:)

staggering through valleys

Perhaps the stench dara smells is his own regurgitation of his latest strech of inebriation,no doubt mixed with kerosene and A fair amount of cheap mad dog 20/20. Tis A sad thing when one is so obviously envious of anothers wealth,company and vehicle, Insult my current squeeze if you must but lay off my ride!!! Sally Jean Brown can handle any three men of your stature in A single evening!! My car on the outher hand is sensitive to attacks on her speed and dexterity.
Why just the other day I blew past Road Rage Randy as he was stopped and scrapping A stringy haired hippie off the bottom of his splash pan. Passed him like he was sitting still I did!! Top that with your bucket of bolts you call A race car. Try being sober for A day. You might see the light or attempt suicide--either way you gain-------gridjunkie.

In The Absence Of

Many of you may have noticed the absence of gridjunkie (aka toad) from the vocal scene as of late. While it is true the grunting of the ritual toad lord has not been heard, it is rumored that he may have been spotted sliding south of the border with his side kick el gringette,(hope he packed 2 sides of beef).
Rumors as to their prenups have also flown around the pits, and or lilly pads as of late, however this person puts little stock in rumors(unless it involves gridjunkie).
Ahh the thought of them honeymooning in the back alleys of some tiny tejano town cultivates disturbing images, as is only suggested for the strong at stomach.
In other news, sitings of gridjunkies jalopy complete with the traditional stringers of beer can chasers off the rear bumper has been reported, and i have ceesed to find any further bite marks on my side walls.
OMG can you imagine the kids???

In the words of earl pitts
pitts off


PooF

:)

cc: lord of the Underdesk

Letter From Earl

My fellow americins to whom it may concern

My name is Earl and i am just disgusted with this country. Why the other day me n mildred went down to the local walmart to get some charcoal bricks for the toad smokin festival. Wilst we was there we passed by a bunch of them pansy assed kids with there squirrely colored hair and rings through all kinds of body part pretendn to be of all thing race car drivers. Imagine these sissified girlie boys thinkin they could actually race a americin made superior metal car. That there is just girlie thinkin. mildred i said thats un american. Why back in my day cars were made of steel, not the bubble gum jap crap plastic of today. N them days drivers were real men like road rage randy, who once leapt from his car to stomp a toad for messin on his tire and never missed a lap. Now thats american.
Wake up america

yours truly

earl pitts, pitts off


for ep by me


PooF!

Though I walk through the valley~

~ of the shadow of gridjunkie I fear no evil ( well maybe a little stench ), because I know you don't bring a gt1 car to a gun fight with a prototype lmp1. Never mind the oil drippings under his jalopy, that is just his way of making sure regular fresh oil is added. As for the concept that grinjunkie (aka toad ), is a skilled driver ( i think not ), it remains to been seen if he ( it ) is capable of even staying on the track with the rest of us, last time he tried the beer cooler and corn nuts spilt, so much for a gourmet meal.

One word of caution. It has been noted he has been seen hanging around el gringgette. I only mention this do the cannibalism of that individual, she has been known to eat more than a one horse, sometimes as many as three. Chew the sidewall right out of a tire that one would.

Well for now we sit in the darkness and await it's arrival, shouldn't be long there are chili dogs with kraut spilled on the lunch tables.

TTFN

PooF!

:)

Darkness of the Underdesk

I see that once again, in the cloak of darkness the almighty toad racer (gridjunkie) has leaped from his lillypad to grace us (not) with his unhumble presence. Last ye be expected to pay tribute to him ( i think not ), in excitation to his presence.
Nay i say, tis he who brings forth the lance (albeit in last place)into this race with what should be with grace the retire of that old jalopy he astutely calls a race car. HAH! With all that said i beseech the masses for there indulgence of kindness on this vagrant sole, as we can not blame him for driving a crappy car. :)

PooF!

:)

Trend setter or bedwetter?

Sounds like daras been breathing to much nitro(along with A fair amount of methane seeing as how he has A penchant for roadkill chili) time to roll down the winder and get A breath of fresh arr. I thought fuzzy dice died along with bell bottoms,platform shoes and Superfly! Good riddance to all three. And by the way,I would rather have A four year old Koenigsegg over A brand new LAMBERGINI any day of the week.-------gridjunkie

Hub Caps for my Lamborghini

Last nite as i was a makin my wayd around ukatommy in da lambogenie dis here a woman kep a telln me my kar was dirt t Now i tell ya i wreckn she ant gots no klue, but she was a maken me felt bad so thisn morning i wint down to da tore store and finds my selfs some purdi coveralls for my kar da had a reel nice collecion. got's me some of dem fanci fuzzed up dicefur da rear view two. Now lets gist she whad dat dere whossi had to say to dat!

MOMO and the cup holder

You remember the days when life was simple, you walked out of the house, keys in hand, got in the car and went down to the beer store? These days you better not have opened one of those bottles on the way home as you might likely find yourself detoured. Well the grid police are on the prowl. Yesterday as i was taking my casual jont around Milan, i swear someone was trying to kill me. I later determined they just wanted to know where i got my swinging beer holder for the momo wheel...(I'm thinking it was gridjunkie, is his style ya know).....Trade secrets here guys. I'll never tell. I just goes to show drinking and driving is the same all over the (grid) world. POOF!
i'm outa here.

are ya back there?

This says it all............................................

the title speaks for itself

My indulgence in this race game from codemasters, has me frothing at the mouth. Chased by an array of bumper car idiots, it is road rage at it's finest. Once, my on teammate started trying to take me out i knew someone was a gunning for me, but thanks to the load of corn in the trunk lotsoluck in thier endeavors. for now see ya in the rear view.............