Letter From Earl

My fellow americins to whom it may concern

My name is Earl and i am just disgusted with this country. Why the other day me n mildred went down to the local walmart to get some charcoal bricks for the toad smokin festival. Wilst we was there we passed by a bunch of them pansy assed kids with there squirrely colored hair and rings through all kinds of body part pretendn to be of all thing race car drivers. Imagine these sissified girlie boys thinkin they could actually race a americin made superior metal car. That there is just girlie thinkin. mildred i said thats un american. Why back in my day cars were made of steel, not the bubble gum jap crap plastic of today. N them days drivers were real men like road rage randy, who once leapt from his car to stomp a toad for messin on his tire and never missed a lap. Now thats american.
Wake up america

yours truly

earl pitts, pitts off


for ep by me


PooF!

Though I walk through the valley~

~ of the shadow of gridjunkie I fear no evil ( well maybe a little stench ), because I know you don't bring a gt1 car to a gun fight with a prototype lmp1. Never mind the oil drippings under his jalopy, that is just his way of making sure regular fresh oil is added. As for the concept that grinjunkie (aka toad ), is a skilled driver ( i think not ), it remains to been seen if he ( it ) is capable of even staying on the track with the rest of us, last time he tried the beer cooler and corn nuts spilt, so much for a gourmet meal.

One word of caution. It has been noted he has been seen hanging around el gringgette. I only mention this do the cannibalism of that individual, she has been known to eat more than a one horse, sometimes as many as three. Chew the sidewall right out of a tire that one would.

Well for now we sit in the darkness and await it's arrival, shouldn't be long there are chili dogs with kraut spilled on the lunch tables.

TTFN

PooF!

:)

Darkness of the Underdesk

I see that once again, in the cloak of darkness the almighty toad racer (gridjunkie) has leaped from his lillypad to grace us (not) with his unhumble presence. Last ye be expected to pay tribute to him ( i think not ), in excitation to his presence.
Nay i say, tis he who brings forth the lance (albeit in last place)into this race with what should be with grace the retire of that old jalopy he astutely calls a race car. HAH! With all that said i beseech the masses for there indulgence of kindness on this vagrant sole, as we can not blame him for driving a crappy car. :)

PooF!

:)

Trend setter or bedwetter?

Sounds like daras been breathing to much nitro(along with A fair amount of methane seeing as how he has A penchant for roadkill chili) time to roll down the winder and get A breath of fresh arr. I thought fuzzy dice died along with bell bottoms,platform shoes and Superfly! Good riddance to all three. And by the way,I would rather have A four year old Koenigsegg over A brand new LAMBERGINI any day of the week.-------gridjunkie

Hub Caps for my Lamborghini

Last nite as i was a makin my wayd around ukatommy in da lambogenie dis here a woman kep a telln me my kar was dirt t Now i tell ya i wreckn she ant gots no klue, but she was a maken me felt bad so thisn morning i wint down to da tore store and finds my selfs some purdi coveralls for my kar da had a reel nice collecion. got's me some of dem fanci fuzzed up dicefur da rear view two. Now lets gist she whad dat dere whossi had to say to dat!

MOMO and the cup holder

You remember the days when life was simple, you walked out of the house, keys in hand, got in the car and went down to the beer store? These days you better not have opened one of those bottles on the way home as you might likely find yourself detoured. Well the grid police are on the prowl. Yesterday as i was taking my casual jont around Milan, i swear someone was trying to kill me. I later determined they just wanted to know where i got my swinging beer holder for the momo wheel...(I'm thinking it was gridjunkie, is his style ya know).....Trade secrets here guys. I'll never tell. I just goes to show drinking and driving is the same all over the (grid) world. POOF!
i'm outa here.

are ya back there?

This says it all............................................

the title speaks for itself

My indulgence in this race game from codemasters, has me frothing at the mouth. Chased by an array of bumper car idiots, it is road rage at it's finest. Once, my on teammate started trying to take me out i knew someone was a gunning for me, but thanks to the load of corn in the trunk lotsoluck in thier endeavors. for now see ya in the rear view.............